Burnout. Every career has its version and sex work probably has higher rates because the work is so much more personal, because sex workers shoulder such a huge portion of the work individually. A stripper cannot outsource her work and make a living. An escort can outsource some of her administrative work, but has to make more money in order to pay for that luxury. We cannot clone our selves to go meet clients. Scaling up or out is impossible. At best, we can make and sell content for passive income, or raise our rates. We still have to do the actual work though, whether writing, photographing, interacting, and showing up.
This is my very long essay of my journey into and out of burnout. I’m still in the process but am through the worst and am on my way out. Take what you find valuable, if anything, and I sincerely hope it helps you. This is not a “poor Amanda” essay, some of these issues have been self-caused and it has taken solid moments of clarity to realize this. Avoid my mistakes and do better.
There are many ways to organize this and I felt chronologically would be best for you. It’s not how the feelings and experiences are organized in my head, but you don’t live in my head. I’ve done my best to make the steps of the journey clear to both of us.
As some of you may, or likely not, have noticed; things are changing around here and my book’s website. Thank you, SESTA/FOSTA, for that.
One thing that is very different with the book’s site redesign is that the book’s companion blog, The Notebook, is gone. I published there from 2006-2015. I have no idea how many people actually read it, or not. In fact, I had the impression that it was outdated and full of shit.
Not true! I’ve gathered the posts, tossed the ones that weren’t authored by me and that aren’t relevant to readers now, updated links, updated many of the postings with new information, added new material that hasn’t been published before. I’m creating an ebook out of the posts and expect it to be selling before the end of December.
Can’t believe I’ve never ever posted this little gem that I wrote after stripping for six months. It was for a college photo project (it ended up not working because too much text) but I’ve kept these words ever since.
After twenty years as a sex worker, I can congratulate my younger self on my quick wisdom. These rules are solid and have never been disproven.
Though I haven’t discussed it much, I’ve been watching YouTube makeup artists/beautubers/influencers/beauty gurus for years. I’ve learned a lot that I still can’t translate to my face, and spent way too much money on makeup and skincare products, most of which I’ve given away due to them not working. However, my staple products that WORK are so worth it and I would have likely not tried them without seeing videos of other people using these products and discussing them.
Vanessa D’Alessio wrote a great piece over at TitsandSass around the issue of showing your face in conjunction with your online escort work. My response got eaten by the Intertubes, I think. Instead of reposting, I decided to expand on it a little here.
This article has been at the back of my mind since I read it last week. My arc has been slightly different than hers. When I started stripping, I was fairly out and allowed myself to be photographed, topless, for one of my club’s websites (back when the Internet was indeed tubes that connected computers using gerbils and string). They never removed the picture despite repeated requests, even after I left stripping and began escorting. (It was later removed only because they redid their site.)