I’ve been trying to fit these two conversations into some sort of context since they occurred but there really isn’t one. What I’m about to relate isn’t going to be news to any female readers and likely will echo sentiments that some male readers believe. All I can say is that both of these conversations made an impression. Not always a good thing.
Reading a self-help book that I unpacked (back when I was unpacking my stored stuff), I ran across the disparaging phrase “instant-gratification relationship,” which was lumped together with such things as drug abuse and alcoholism. Such relationships weren’t mentioned again in that book (which I have since donated). Looking online shows that some people use this phrase but not many.
What got me started was simply wondering what defines an instant-gratification relationship? Sex, apparently. There is no other definition, though there should be. Or maybe another euphemism should be chosen.
Of course this assumes the sole point to a “relationship” is sex. Naturally, one would expect my proud assertion that I’m in the professional instant-gratification business. That’s true…and not true. The relationships my clients (and those of many of my friends) yearn for are hardly instant, they require time to build.
Then I think about the traditional marriage, or even the traditional romantic relationship. Hardly instant-gratification by anyone’s standards. In fact, to hear the partners in these relationships speak about them — hardly any gratification at all. So what if I want instant-gratification from someone whom I’ve decided is going to be exactly that? They have every right to deny me gratification if it’s not for them and I have every right to find it elsewhere.
The only other legal sex-for-money system in the US are the Nevada brothels. Like porn, they regularly test for STIs, though the brothel I worked for did not test for herpes and Hepatitis C. Porn does not test for herpes and Hep C. Porn is ramping up to a 2-week testing cycle, brothel testing is weekly. Brothels have mandatory condom use. Porn’s condom usage is all over the place. Condoms are a regular sight in gay porn but not mandatory. In heterosexual porn, some companies require condom usage, some leave it to the discretion of the performer and some seem not to give the performer a choice. Unlike porn, where the actors go home after work, about half of NV’s brothels are lockdown.
Why are legal prostitutes regulated to the nth degree but legal porn actors are not?
A few of the finer points of being a [good] client. These aren’t deal-breakers or anything blacklist-worthy, not by any stretch. It’s about those special little things, those bits where a man misses the mark. Not really something he can prepare for; though if he actually took care of himself head to toe like his companion does it would cease to be an issue. Since the specific men who inspired these examples probably aren’t going to see me again (I don’t hide annoyance well), I hope that their next companions have an easier time of it.
No one has yet decided to try and understand the mystery of legitimate rape from the rapist’s point of view. This is my handy guide to make life easy for all men who would like to enjoy unprotected, consequence-free sex with a non-consenting female, especially if the men in question have issues both with becoming a father and their victims obtaining an abortion. The courts have already decided that if it’s not a legitimate rape then it’s consensual sex, and scientifically that means she’ll become pregnant. The best way to tell if it was a legitimate rape is if she doesn’t get pregnant, but why not stack the odds in your favor from the very beginning?