[...]After Hours | Amanda Brooks’ personal blog — escort, author, advocate » Blog Archive » the evolution of boundaries[...]…

It’s also clear to me that you know what I mean when I say “do it for yourself”. It’s not about selfishness, but self-fulfillment, which is the best gift we can share with the world. In the narrower sense of escorting, it’s a joy to encounter a provider who enjoys herself and takes pride in her work, instead of going through the motions of performing a chore.

And besides its quality, your blog is a true breath of fresh air after reading a slew of much more negative ones about our favorite subject. I realize that some providers are embittered by the work, and feel dirty and resentful of society (men) and their clients (more men), but I was growing frustrated by their denial of MY experience, which is overwhelmingly positive.

I do realize that you are exceptional (and probably at the very tip top of modern courtesans!), but many providers, and not just the high-end variety, have seemed to me very much in control, empowered, and willing to share, instead of demeaned and enslaved.

A willingness to play (reasonably) with boundaries has always been a sign to me that I was in presence of a true professional, and frankly, a mature woman at the top of her game.

Thank you so much.

Yes, the training wheels have come off. I still make decisions based on my safety but not arbitrary “rules” of conduct.

Considering the amount of mistakes I make, I must be at the very tip top!! Ha!

Yup, doing it for myself in many ways but…I never forget my clients. The more I give, the more I get — even if the return is in self-revelation that comes days later.

You know, I’ve enjoyed your bouncing all over my blog. I’m re-reading posts I forgot about!

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I really liked this entry by Amanda. And I don’t see her as becoming reckless at all. It’s about maturity and confidence. This is a stage that occurs in every type of human activity – the time when the training wheels (the rules that keep us in line and safe) can come off and we’re ready to trust ourselves. There ARE risks involved. But it’s what free beings do.

Fred Astaire did say that “the higher up you go, the more mistakes you’re allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it’s considered to be your style.”
Well I think that Amanda may be finding her groove, that’s all. She was an utterly professional concert pianist; she is discovering jazz (unless I completely misreading her).

But the real reason I was glad to read this is that this hobbyist has been long saying that, past a certain age (usually 30-35 in my experience), sex workers sometimes start to “do it for themselves” in every way, to come into their own and make the interaction much richer for both parties.

All rules are made to be bent or broken sometimes. It’s a woman’s privilege to decide when, and a man’s to enjoy exploring new boundaries with her. I don’t see why sex work would be any different.

I’m starting to dislike the word “prostitution” as well because so often it’s used in conjunction with “prostituted women” who are sex workers who have not made the choice. But as a word simply describing paying for sex, I have no issues with it.

Everything else you said is spot on. Double standard, paying for time as opposed to sex, a woman’s right to her own body — you’re preaching to the choir! I wish more people questioned popular assumptions like you do.

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