animal trades
Oct 29, 2012 Adult Industry
A very nice and seemingly sincere gentleman offered me nine pygmy goats as a trade. I consider it a career-milestone to be offered actual livestock.
It got me thinking…what sort of animal would I be willing to trade for? A really nice saddle horse? A few quality milking goats? Pygmy marmosets? Of course there is the expense of keeping the animals, along with the expense of a place to keep them because I live in a large city. (The marmosets are delicate and don’t make good pets.) A “trade” that keeps digging a hole into my bank account isn’t worth it.
What would I trade for? Right now, I trade my time for cash. It’s always worked out for me. With cash, I can get anything I want if I have enough of it, and do stuff with it, like pay rent or set aside in savings. Dallas is not a barter-town so I doubt I’d get very far trying to trade pygmy goats at Neiman Marcus for a new handbag.
Tags: clients, escort work, money, trades
October 30th, 2012 at 2:55 am
Hello Amanda,
Nice short column. Would you consider letting Metro ANE Magazine re-print it? What is Metro ANE, you ask? go to http://www.ANEmagazine.com and see. While I only write for them, I think the editor would like it. She like Neiman Marcus, too.
W.R. Maxwell
October 30th, 2012 at 3:50 am
Mr. Maxwell — Thank you for the offer. I’m well-aware of ANE Magazine. It can be reprinted only if I’m paid for it. Otherwise, there’s nothing in it for me.
October 30th, 2012 at 12:37 pm
I’m going to get a t-shirt that says, “Will Work For Pygmy Goats”.
October 31st, 2012 at 7:06 am
David — Ha!
October 31st, 2012 at 3:08 pm
Well, you’ll never know whether or not you can trade pygmy goats for a Michael Kors bag at Neiman Marcus if you don’t ask, Amanda. As maman always tells me when I hesitate to ask for something, all they can say is no…and then laugh hysterically.
November 1st, 2012 at 5:16 am
Aspasia — I could ask, yes, then I’d know for sure. My best GUESS is I’ll get the laughing hysterically response. If I bring the goats with me, I’ll probably be removed from the store (and my goats).
November 1st, 2012 at 9:17 am
Alternatively, they could keep the goats and put employee name tags on them. I’m fairly certain that when I was working retail that I could have been switched out for a pygmy goat with no one the wiser. Especially at Macy’s.
November 1st, 2012 at 12:26 pm
Aspasia — In some stores I would most certainly agree.
No wait, I don’t. Goats would pay far more attention to me, especially if I was carrying food. Goats also can’t use personal phones while at work (no opposable thumbs).
November 7th, 2012 at 7:53 am
I have to agree with you. Exchanging services for pygmy goats sounds like a baaaaad idea
November 7th, 2012 at 11:25 am
Me — Ha! Very good! Should have seen that one right off.
November 7th, 2012 at 11:46 am
One time a gentleman called me offering to trade a wedding ring he had once given to his fiancé that didn’t work out for “multiple hours”. The thought did cross my mind but there was no way i was going sit through having that thing certified just to find out well, you know. Livestock is kind of amazing, you could become the world’s only high end escort/farm maiden. Think of the reality show possibilities…
November 7th, 2012 at 12:09 pm
Oh the show name possibilities:
Pounds for a pound
Ho-ville
Livestock & cocks
Pushin Dirt
Snowball Farms
The Nipple Life
Amanda’s Menage-arie
…
November 8th, 2012 at 4:21 am
Samantha — Ick. Not just going to the trouble of making sure it’s real, but the story behind it.
If I move out to the country and have lots of acres, I could ask for help in stocking my land! Good idea!
January 1st, 2013 at 10:09 pm
Happy New Years Amanda. I hope you have a wonderful 2013. Good luck achieving all of your goals. You are a talented writer and publisher.
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:42 am
Agent008 — Thank you! I hope you have a great 2013 as well!