escorts of the caribbean — at wit’s end

I’ve always been entertained by this little bit. (Forgive the poor sound quality, obviously copied in the movie theater or something. Couldn’t find it elsewhere online but can’t say I looked that hard.)

If Captain Sparrow were an escort speaking to two arguing hobbyists:
“Gentlemen, will you please shut it! Yes, I lied to you. No, I don’t love you. Of course it makes you look old! No, I’ve never been to Brussels. It’s pronounced er-os. By the way, no, I’ve never met Karl but I love his clothes. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my envelope is once again empty! Savvy?”

Tagged on:

9 thoughts on “escorts of the caribbean — at wit’s end

  1. massuse

    Ha, ha! I love the end, that’s what a couple of my past regular clients have wanted to do to me, metaphorically speaking of course. I was telling a friend about your past posting about how we are often playing the role of therapist and people often get upset with their therapist, hence the “hobbyists” slapping Jack Sparrow when he tells it like it is. That all ties in nicely. Reminds me of my life, totally cracked me up.

  2. Faye Kane, girl brain

    “You mean it isn’t EEE-ros?”

    “No kidding. I doubt anyone but girls get it.”

    I’m a girl, and I don’t get it.

    Anyway, I just started your first book and it’s so fascinating that I don’t know whether to continue reading it, or continue interrupting that to read your blog, which is equally interesting. In any case I won’t sleep until I’ve finished both. Thanks for writing them!

    My GOD I wish you had written this 20 years ago! My brain just melts and I become numb thinking about being naked on a stage in a roomful of horny stupid guys. GOD it’s the perfect job! And escorting? I almost break down weeping when I realize that 20 years ago I could actually, really have DONE that! GOD! AGGGH!

    Even 10 years ago, maybe. But not now. Now, I’m living vicariously through your book because I wasted my life learning stuff—safe, sterile, and alone.

    Sure, I know why the stars shine. I know that real good. But the stars PALE in comparison to the experience of DOING and BEING.

    Amanda, you are soooo lucky to be you!

    …Anyway, I came here to find out what happened with the relationship you went to California for, but it’s either not here or well-hidden.

    It really should be on your “about me” page.

    All I can divine is that you must have left him and came home to Texas, but I don’t know why.

    Thanx agin,

    –faye kane homeless brain,
    The sexiest astrophysicist you’ll ever see naked.
    Click my name for site.

  3. Amanda Brooks Post author

    Faye — Thanks for being a reader! I’m glad you’re enjoying the read even though you’re not an escort. That’s important to me (and ultimately for all escorts).

    It’s usually pronounced “er-os” with a short “e”, not the long, Southern-drawl “eeeeeeee”. Maybe I should have phrased that “working girls” get it since we have to call the Eros Guide 800 number and hear their recorded messages. :)

    As for the relationship, you can find out bits and pieces on here if you thumb through the archives, particularly under the Personal category. I don’t archive by date, unfortunately. But basically, it ended for much of the same reasons that most relationships end when an escort retires for that relationship due to the suggestion of her partner. It’s never a good idea to change one’s self or one’s life to appease the insecurities of another.

    I’m currently in a relationship with a man who is quite secure and has never even once hinted that I change occupation (in fact, I’ve played job counselor with him because he was under so much stress with his old job and I hated how much it took out of him).

    I came home to Texas via Las Vegas and Singapore, so the route diverged a little. But I can say it’s been interesting.

    Stick around!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>