hobbyists in the mist

Over the years, I’ve run into hobbyists online in non-escort settings. EBay, various message boards about real hobbies, non-escort blogs, dating sites and the like. It is proof that hobbyists do have something of an Internet life outside of posting on discussion/review boards. It’s also proof that an experienced escort can smell them through the computer screen long before they’ve made a complete ass of themselves.

It’s the grossly-entitled reek they emit that gives it away. They see women as inferior and expect that anything they say is gospel. They forget that the rest of the Internet is a free world and my livelihood doesn’t depend on catering to their flagging egos. I love to enrage them because it’s so easy. They never twig that I’m an escort and recognize what they are. They only know that I’m keeping the pussy away from them, not doing what they tell me to do, and not falling in love with them. For free, of course.

They lust after any semi-appealing female who crosses their radar, seeming to think that every woman will react with the same enthusiasm that working escorts do. They’re shocked when I tell them to fuck off (and it is so, so much fun to do this). I’ve even caught them attempting to rate and review me and other civilian women on whatever site. Why do they think women want to put up with this for free? Oh, right. Hobbyists.

Sometimes they’re even smart enough to not use the same handles on every board. Certainly not always. I’ve no doubt if I went searching for specific phrases I’d probably figure out their escort board handles pretty quickly but I’ve never had that much curiosity.

They find out that challenging me with money doesn’t work (like the out-of-state dating site guys who want to meet me and take me to dinner, but only with the guarantee of sex because they don’t want to waste money on me) and it blows their minds. They rage and whinge about how I set my boundaries during whatever short bout of contact we have online. I find their other online profiles (“travel dating” sites are now popular) with pictures and hilarious self-description, I pass the links around for others to laugh at. In my experience, real clients rarely leave such an Internet trail of stupidity. Hobbyists usually do, spreading all over the Net like a viral outbreak. The stupider they are, the better. They readily oblige.

The most fun is getting to act offended and enraged at every little sexist thing that they write, threaten to have them reported and/or banned from the site, get to tell them where and how to get off (certainly not with me), etc. They have no idea where I’m coming from, and they discover they really can’t do anything to me. They have no power over me. I’m just some random chick, probably a Nazi-feminist, who thinks all men are sexually harassing her, and causing a big stink about their attitudes. They go in search of easier prey. I’m sure I’m responsible for some of the beliefs among hobbyists that American women are emasculating men. (Don’t be so easily emasculated, is my response.)

Oddly enough, I’ve yet to personally interact with an online male jerk who wasn’t a hidden hobbyist. I’ve sometimes been able to sniff out a client (though none of mine) and they behave themselves. I’ve interacted with quite a few civilian men and they behave themselves, more or less, within a range of normal male behavior. The outright, miserable assholes are always hobbyists. Always. I think it’s because hobbyists are MRAs who admit to paying for it.

I would love to tell hobbyists to behave themselves when interacting with women who don’t care about earning a “10” from them, but then, I doubt any of those read this blog. Nor would they get it. Or care.

17 thoughts on “hobbyists in the mist

  1. RunSilent RunDeep

    1. On their behavior: hilarious!!

    2. On your playfulness with them: Well done!! and

    3. On your vocabulary: What an interesting and *useful* distinction between “hobbyist” and “client!” This is the first time I have encountered it, but I like it!!

    Well done, well done!! And may you have endless fun at their expense!!

    RunSilent RunDeep

  2. Amanda Brooks Post author

    Serra – Thank you!

    RSRD — Nice to see you’re still around!!!

    1. Oh, you haven’t seen the details, but girlfriends have. Always good for a laugh.

    2. I sometimes get my kicks in weird ways, what can I say?

    3. There is a HUGE difference. I may’ve mentioned it before on here, not sure. Ladies usually wish to spend their time with one and try not to have to interact with the other.

  3. Claire

    Rather have them chasing their own tails than one of us. Well done, I am not smart enough to do that sort of thing but if I could I would. This new sexist hobbyist culture seems to be growing out of control? It worries me that there are more of them than there are of us.

  4. The Lusty Chick

    I’ve had a douchebag from a message board that I didn’t even know threaten my life numerous times. But, just like most social media outlets and the Internet period; people can grow balls of steel from the comforts of their laptops. It’s such a cowardly pastime.

  5. Amanda Brooks Post author

    Claudia — That was the exception that came to my mind when I said it. Maybe I should amend what I sad to “foreign women who are in desparate poverty.”

    Claire — It is fun to watch them chasing their own tails.

    By law of supply, there have to be more of them than us but they will never have control (and this is where their hate comes in) because they don’t own the pussy. Crude but true.

    Lusty Chick — Death threats — nice.

    “…people can grow balls of steel from the comforts of their laptops. It’s such a cowardly pastime.”

    Ha! So true!

  6. Pingback: Civilisation and its Discontents |

  7. Linda

    Thank you for the very interesting post.
    I totally agree with you about hobbyists behaviour.
    I have to say just the title of your post says a million words about this topic.

  8. Miss Margo

    Hi! Found your blog through a link on TitsandSass.

    LOVED this blog post and I look forward to reading more of your writing here!

    I’m a pro-Switch in NYC. My clientele are primarily different from escort clientele because I specialize in different services (sadomasochism), but, as I’m sure you know, there is overlap, and EVERY “hobbyist” I’ve met is a boundaries-pushing misogynistic fucktard.

    They ARE MRAs. That is exactly what they are.

    In my entire career doing this job–two years–I have met exactly one enthusiastic TER reviewer who had a sweet, kind personality.

    Anyway, IMO a gorilla would be offended to be compared to a hobbyist. Gorillas eat vegetables and live in complex social structures. They are capable of learning sign language and communicating with human beings. Koko the gorilla loved a pet kitten. Ms. Brooks, why must you malign the misunderstood and unoffending gorilla…?

    Thanks!

    Miss Margo

  9. Amanda Brooks Post author

    Linda — Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.

    Miss Margo — Very glad to have you as a reader!

    Indeed, hobbyists have descended on every form of sex work like a plague of locusts and made life worse for all involved.

    I actually thought a long time about the title. I have no hard feelings toward gorillas, who behave within societal bounds and obey their mamas (along with everything you just stated). I don’t mean to malign gorillas in the least.

    I went with the title because I’m an observer of lurking wild beasts whose actions are mostly unfathomonable to me. They’re often hairy, don’t bathe and weigh several hundrend pounds. Hobbyists are primates too.

  10. Too Jaded

    I’m sorry to see that you’ve had so many bad experiences with so many ‘hobbyists’. I personally never meet any of them myself and can only try to be the best person I can be with everyone including those working in your former profession. Not all of us are alpha male misogynists so I am sad to see so many others are.

    I wish you better luck with the men you meet.

  11. Amanda Brooks Post author

    Too Jaded — Don’t be sorry, they make great blog fodder.

    I bet you have met some in your life, you just didn’t know it. They’re a certain type of man (most prevalent in the US) and they just give off a certain type of aura. You’ve dealt with one, you dealt with them all.

  12. Viking

    Amanda, I am so glad I found your blog site last week! I really enjoy your gallows humor! Great post about typical rude behavior that so many people seem to think is acceptable. Some of us were raised better than that.
    I am a male of scandi-houvian decent :-), with good southern upbringing, and taught to have a tolerant mind to others. As a life long bachelor till 45, I have learned the many of “society’s” norms are just plane wrong. Obviously we are all influenced by everything we experience as we grow up, so no one can be truly as open minded as we believe we are; but some are better at TRYING to be open minded, and I hope that I am one of those.
    Before reading this I would not have thought that “hobbyist” would have such a negative vibe to it, but looking at it from your experience, I will have to agree entirely.
    As a blue collar, dirt under the nails, scooter tramp, I still maintain that I am a TRUE southern gentleman of class, due to attempting to treat others with respect as best as I am able. We all want to be treated with respect, so doesn’t that require to give it to others first?
    Best of wishes to you, and hopes that all your experiences can be with “Clients” and not “hobbyists”
    The Viking

    1. Amanda Brooks Post author

      The Viking — A little manners goes a long way, doesn’t it? It’s not like it’s hard to do.

      Of course everyone is moulded by their past, but I agree with you that one should at least TRY to broaden their horizons beyond that.

      Oh…”hobbyist” has a very negative connotation for providers. Completely. It’s a particular male mindset that is always odious to working girls. I’m actually quite restrained on this post, other ladies are less so!

      Generally, I have real clients. I like them. :)

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