This particular rant is something I’ve been wanting to say for years (and has been sitting in my Drafts folder for a while; written in 2010 in Singapore so many of the things I say here don’t apply to the US). Other than a few adjustments to reflect the passage of time, the essay is unchanged.
What sparked it was two things happening on a discussion board in one week. One was a thread where some hobbyists reacted badly to a touring escort charging $350USD/hr (the nerve! the gall! the audacity! the envy!) and another was a PM to me, an attempt by a hobbyist to “help” me navigate the Singapore scene and make sure I’m not charging too much. (Russian girls at Brix are the “cream of the crop” and I’m not so I can’t charge more than they do, which was $300SGD/hr according to him. I wonder if he knew there were two non-Russian indies charging right at $1000SGD/hr in Singapore at that time. I charged a minimum $500SGD/hr or $800SGD/2hrs, depending.)
Despite the hand-wringing and general disbelief of hobbyists, my clients are usually pretty happy with me. I’m personable, intelligent, interesting, beautiful, mentally-mature and fully focused on their needs. I don’t have a pimp hiding in the corner, I won’t phone-stalk them at 4am, I don’t try to manipulate them into becoming my “boyfriend” or desperately taking risks to make a few extra bucks to support my starving extended family in some poverty-stricken country. I don’t chase extra money or presents: clients pay my fee and that’s it. Their responsibility ends (sometimes they’re spontaneously moved to extremely kind generosity). I’m with them because I want to be — they’re with me for exactly the same reason. To me, that’s all cream. For everyone. [Insert sex joke here, if you must.]
Just because hobbyists can’t imagine something doesn’t mean it can’t exist. I’ve been fighting this stupid battle since 2002. The narrow vision and nosy desire to control a stubborn, independent cuss of a woman just keeps on keeping on. Sigh.
sex work tourism
I realize I’m traveling into some new and unique places for the average American Internet escort. I do my research before I go and yeah, sometimes I find out the answers when I arrive. I spend time picking the brains of local clients and local girls when I can because I certainly do not know everything and a huge part of my travels is to learn and sometimes try something new if it suits me.
I’m well aware the world is awash in sex tourism and these men want top service for bottom dollar. It’s generally an ugly thing and I want no part of these men. There are always men who feel the way I do and our like minds connect pretty well. That’s what I like and what I go for. Why the hell would I try to serve the sex tourists if that’s not what I want for myself?
This is in no way a judgment on the women who work their asses off to make money while they can off men who will haggle over a $10USD price difference (a huge difference to the girls but piddle to the average American sex tourist). I’m making a strong judgment against the men who reduce these women to age/price/location.
Not that I completely blame sex tourists. They are but following in the footsteps of the local men — who are always the largest group of clients in any locale. Worldwide, local men support the local and non-local girls. Period. There are tourist areas in every city but the vast majority of clients are always local men. The local men are largely responsible for shaping the local scene.
At least they are when we’re talking the lower end. I’ve noticed that the more a girl charges, the less control the local punters have over her and it bothers them a great deal. I see it in the US, I saw it in Singapore and Hong Kong, and I’m pretty sure it’s true all across Asia (based on my formal and informal research). It bothers punters when a desirable girl charges more than they can afford. They’re certainly offended by the effrontery of her rates. (Note to all clients: rates are not a personal comment made directly toward you, rates are merely a personal comment on how the girl in question values her time and energy.)
Very common complaint (domestically and internationally) “Your rates are very expensive.” Are they? I had no idea. I mean, I live/work in a vacuum and never look at what other girls are offering. Thanks for letting me know you can’t afford me. I’ll have to make sure to be more affordable because my body should be publicly and easily accessible to anyone and everyone.
I did not see a lot of this tension in the UK. Australia is a different beast as well. Aussie women seem pretty spirited about taking care of themselves. But a discussion-board-heavy environment probably changes things a bit.
back around to the top…
If any hobbyist wishes to offer me business advice, let’s make a fair trade agreement. Even though I know nothing about your business (IT or whatever it is that hobbyists do for a living), let me start poking my nose into it, get a one-sided view of it and then give you business advice that will sink your income and well-being into the toilet. When you start following my advice, then I’ll start following yours. Deal?
Or…when you’ve successfully had as many male clients as I have, feel free to start explaining your system of working. I’ll listen! I always listen* to my elders and betters. My elders and betters are all successful working girls, not hobbyists. Funny that.
I’m sure all this can be read this as a spewing of attitude or a balloon of hubris. Actually, any of the fellows who have read my blog and then dared to see me will tell you: I’m quite different in person. My blog is for me. My clients buy my time for themselves. Those are two very different mindsets for me. I don’t change my opinions just to soothe a bruised ego but rarely does a tired or stressed man want to get into a debate over anything. I’m good with that; that’s what I’m there to [not] do. I come here to get opinionated and be all uppity.
I know what does and doesn’t work for me. At this greatly advanced, creaky, crusty age, I damn well better! I know when I can be flexible and when I can’t. I know what I like and what I don’t. Most importantly, I know how much I need to earn and how I like to be treated by my clients. No one else can know that for me. My responsibility to myself means I must know these things.
Which is why the business advice of hobbyists is never well-received by me.
*Listening means I listen, not that I always follow the lessons. Sometimes this is good, sometimes I learn to listen better.
Though I was in different place when I wrote the above words, in all ways, it still holds true. I’m just a lot less nice when expressing these opinions now. I’ve also changed my way of working slightly, being more demanding of who sees me, and it’s done very well for me. I also express my opinions more when a client says something offensive. Some never see me again, others return for regular abuse. And anytime a client does anything that reminds me of Pig, I cut him off at the knees immediately. I’ve seen that movie already and didn’t much care for it.