Here’s a little story I’ve wanted to tell for the last two or three years, since it happened.
There are things I won’t do for money.
An unapologetic client contacted me, very concerned because he had appeared on the National Blacklist. He was never my client. I’d first met him while stripping. I never danced for him. He was a fixture at the club and often I’d have a couple drinks with him and listen to his [likely embellished] stories. We sort of kept in contact when I became an escort and once I had dinner with him (in 2008?). He always offered for me to have dinner with him and hang out whenever I was in Dallas but we all know how I feel about hanging out for free with someone who is not part of my life and who simply wants an audience.
He was upset because an escort had retired and when she did, she posted all her collected blacklist clients. He (and other hobbyists) felt she did it for “revenge.” No, you morons, she did it so that she would be safe from retaliation and not destroy her business by being honest and warning other girls.
He wanted me to contact the NB and have his entry removed because he mistakenly thought I had some sort of pull with them. While I can guess who runs it, I don’t personally know them and don’t pretend that I do. I certainly wouldn’t waste any hard-won influence on getting a blacklist entry removed.
Not only do I have no idea what he’s really like behind closed doors, I’m not about to gainsay another girl’s experience. I give references for my clients but I also recognize everyone could have a vastly different experience than I do (and vice versa). If any man has made a blacklist, I’m pretty sure there was a good reason for it and I’ll believe her over him every single time, even if I have no idea who “she” is.
He then insulted me by offering to pay me for my efforts. That ended the conversation (not that it was going to last much longer).
You can buy my time. In some situations, you can buy sex with me. You can buy books from me. I’d love it if media paid me for interviews. I can’t think of anything else that I’m selling, so that’s the list of what you can buy from me.
You cannot buy me off. You cannot offer me money to invalidate another girl’s experience. Even before I became involved in the sex worker rights movement, it wasn’t an option. It certainly isn’t now.
Hos before bros.
Every. Single. Time.