learning lessons

11 Responses to “learning lessons”

1. Gwen Masters on March 14th, 2008

   I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. And ooooh, how your post hit a nerve of remembrance for me…

   I’ve been on the receiving end of snarky commenters who loved nothing better than ripping me apart (thanks to who I was dating, of all things — they had way too much time on their hands if they cared about MY life so much!). It helped to keep in mind that they really didn’t know what they were talking about, and they were a very vocal minority among all the people who read the articles or postings. It’s probably about one percent of them — but even one comment, aimed just the right way, hurts.

   The best thing to do is ignore them. If you try to bring it back under your control, you open yourself up to even more attacks. That vocal minority gets a perverse satisfaction in knowing they got under your skin. It’s probably best to just write off the publication that started the whole thing. Never grant them another interview or sound bite. You’ve got a good book, a good product, good things to say — you can promote it in many places, and you don’t need the negativity that venue brings.

   You know who you are. They don’t. You have the sense of respect and dignity they seem to lack. That puts you above the fray, and ignoring them keeps you there.

2. Amber on March 14th, 2008

   The obvious answer is NOT get a thick skin, and I always resent it when people dismissively tell me to do that. The answer is for people to not behave like total assholes.

3. Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » links for 2008-03-14 on March 14th, 2008

   [...] learning lessons – After Hours| random discourse from a retired escort “And the need to score guy-humor points is irritating. Why do guys always think girls are simply set-ups for their jokes? Especially if it involves sex?” (tags: assholes bullshit media msm Spitzer gender society sexism sexwork) [...]

4. Amanda Brooks on March 14th, 2008

   Gwen,

   Thanks for stopping by! And yes, I DO intend to not deal with this particular venue again. It’s not that I’m curing cancer or something, but I am a human and not a punchline. I really want that simple recognition.

   Amber,

   Great point. But how to de-asshole the world?

   XX

5. Amber on March 14th, 2008

   Great point. But how to de-asshole the world?

   That’s the part I haven’t figured out yet. I’ll get back to you. :\

6. Amanda Brooks on March 15th, 2008

   Amber,

   

   XX

7. What What have we learned? « The Courtesan Connection on March 16th, 2008

   [...] and The Dallas Observer are about as classy as a drunk [...]

8. Jim on May 2nd, 2008

   Amanda,
   I was watching FOX News 05/02/08 and this picture of a very very pretty lady appeared. I don’t care what those news people think, you have the right to do what you wish. I will not be patronising any call girls in the near future though since the only one I would love to spend time with has retired. YOU ARE BE-UTIFUL!
   Jim

9. Amanda Brooks on May 3rd, 2008

   Jim,

   Thank you! I’m blushing.
   

   XX

10. CR on May 16th, 2008

    I stumbled on your site and read this latest post. I have a suggestion for your problem. Actually, it is not a unique problem. Many people in business experience the same frustration about the press and how stories get reported.

    I once had acompany which grew very fast. I was getting interviewed inthe press several times a week. However, the stories rarely mention our company or if they did, they used a quote or topic which was irrelevant. Finally, I was dicussing this with our lobbyist and they nodded knowingly and dircted me to a PR firm. This firm put me through “media training”. Of everything I have ever learned while being in business, it is the most valuable and regularly used tools I have gained. There are very specific techniques and tools they can teach you so that your message is what is getting reported, not just anything the reporter decides to write.

    Also, everytime I am interviewed now, quotes I want published are included in the articles.

    Anyway, that’s my two cents … best of luck.

11. Amanda Brooks on May 17th, 2008

    CR,

    Yes, I’ve wanted media training for the past year, but finding a good media trainer who will address my problems and is going to be sympathetic to what I want to say might be difficult. And affording it right now is a bit of a problem.

    But it’s very high on my list of business investments I want to make.

    XX