Though the news is disturbing (a NC trucker who kills sex workers), the quotes in the article and comments from readers are mostly positive. That is, they actually condemn what he did and feel sympathy for the women who lost their lives to this monster; as opposed to the usual flood of hatred toward sex workers in online articles like this.

There is hope yet.

31 thoughts on “a little bit of progress

  1. i went and read through the comments.

    it was good to see some posters show sympathy for the women who lost their lives.

    i was especially sickened by the one commenter who made the “do not have souls” comment.

    i guess monsters come in all forms 🙁

  2. Me — Indeed. As I said, MOST of the commenters are positive (as positive as it gets). It really is a vast improvement over the typical comments on similar stories.

    XX

  3. I was contacted by a potential client who made himself suspect with too much texting. I did not accept him and fortunately he turned out to be rather harmless. During our exchange, I called him out on what I suspected and told him he seemed to harbor anger toward women. He insulted me and I replied, “you put me in my place, bet you feel like a big man now. Go beat up an old grandma and really bolster yourself!” Needless to say, he did not find my comment as humorous as I did!

  4. Massuse — A lot of guys who contact escorts have major anger issues toward women (hopefully the escort’s instincts prevents her from seeing these men). I saw this in the strip clubs too: guys would come in just to verbally abuse whatever unfortunate stripper actually talked to them.

    XX

  5. Hey Amanda,

    I haven’t been here in awhile,but I’m glad we’re friends on facebook.LOL

    I use to care what people would say about women who worked but not anymore.I don’t have the energy to care for one thing. It use to bother me when you would read bizare hateful comments from other so called civilized moral human beings saying escorts deserved the brutal death from a serial killer etc… I now realize these so called people are no better or less evil than the serial killer who commited these acts. I don’t care if your homeless on the streets or whatever. I hate it when sick human beings justify this kind of thing on anyone because they have a moral bug up their ass and in reality they’re being just as evil for condoning this. These would be the same sick souls who would say a homeless man deserved a brutal death because he put him self on the streets or a gay man deserved a bashing,some people are just mean and desencized out there,and their opinions are not important!To me it’s like caring what Hitler thinks.

  6. I sometimes get nasty texts with men spewing their lifetime of toxic mommy anger issues onto me because I’m an easy target. It usually happens once and I block their number. There’s no way I would react to THEIR life time of anger.

  7. also: What most of the judgemental public fail to realize because their busy “being better than” is escorts are easy targets and used for serial killers to lash out at women without getting caught,most of them saved the life of their daughters sisters and mothers,because trust me if easy targets weren’t available these monsters would go after and hunt other women!

  8. Tamara — While on the one hand I agree with you: ignore this ignorance, I can’t.

    These people are out there and there are LOT of them. They may be my neighbor (just as I am theirs) or my life may one day depend on their actions (will they call 911 if they realize I’m a sex worker?). These attitudes permeate the police, so if something happens to me, will my family get justice?

    These sick attitudes affect way too much of the world I live in for me to be able to tolerate it. Not that this isn’t wearing on the soul and often leads to more than a bit of media burnout (been there, done that). This is why I do what I do, even when I often don’t have the energy for it.

    I can’t easily let this go. They are talking about ME. I have too much empathy, I guess.

    XX

  9. I believe a lot of the anger isn’t even based on personal knowledge. I think it is based on the stereo types that people believe accounts for most of the industry.

    it’s all they’ve ever,heard about or seen is the small percentage that is not so nice, how can you expect them to think otherwise ?

    as someone I have a lot of respect for once said,…

    we don’t see things how they are, we see things as we are.

  10. Me — To a point. Someone who hates on female sex workers also hates women. Female sex workers aren’t very different from non-sex working women. Unfortunately, non-sex working women don’t like to acknowledge there is not the great divide they want to believe there is.

    The way society views and treats its sex workers is a clear reflection of how it views and treats its women.

    XX

  11. Agreed to a point. I am always amazed at the poison spewed at others. Especially when it comes from other women. 🙁

  12. Me — It’s still a societal reflection. Every society reacts differently to the same news and the reactions are CLEARLY more a product of society than they are the individual. America has some serious issues around female sexuality and sex workers get the full force of it.

    XX

  13. I understand both thoughts. I wasn’t talking about the fact you take a stand. I agree 100%. I’m talking about the trolls on some of these sites. I can see making one comment,but after that your reacting to it is totaly pointless. How do respond or have a intelligent dialoge with someone who just keeps name calling? The clients who send insulting texts,well that problem is so deep seated in them, and has nothing to do with me,so I’m not wasting my time texting back more insults only to have them love my reaction and feed into it,sometimes it gets petty and thats when its not worth it.They’re projecting,and I’m not going to be the punching bag for their mommy rage.They have to learn to grow up and own their own anger for whatever or whoever, but in no way am I saying to not take a stand over all and spreak out for sex workers,no way! I hope that makes better sense!

  14. Me,

    The reason sex workers, and strippers cause such a reaction in the insecure women doing main stream stuff is because it triggers something in them,but most of them aren’t deep enough to see that.We bring out all sorts of insecurities and self righteous judgments that give them the illusion they’re better,and that feeling of being better than someone is sometimes exhilarating to insecure people with no solid core!

    When something causes a strong reaction in me, I always go within and figure out what it’s stirring up in ME,why and how I can let it go and move on.

    It’s like the same thing gays for example,the reason people protests it and freak out it is because that person isn’t fully developed in their own sexuality or comfortable with it and more than likely has gay porn under their bed! They give a strong reaction because it’s something in themselves they don’t want to look at.

  15. Tamara — Trolls, yeah. Agree with you on that. I try not to feed them either. Waste of time/energy — no matter what area of life we’re talking about.

    Nice response to “me”. That is exactly what a mirror does and a huge reason stigmatization of many groups exist.

    XX

  16. Tamara,

    You hit it right on the head. People are afraid of what they dont understand, or is different.

    I have never understood the whole hatred of gays thing. Its so hard to find love in this world, so why people would have such a hatred of others who find it in a manner that works for them, i just dont get.

    Seems that most people are only tolerant of “out of the norm behaviours” that are their own, even when they arent really affected by it.

    A lot about your world and pov i may never fully understand, but i also dont understand why it bothers people as much as it seems to.

    Sucks being such a naive libertarian…

  17. Me — I know you think that hatred of sex workers stems from how “different” we are but the truth is the hatred stems from how scarily alike we are to the haters. They can see themselves in us and they don’t like it. Granted, some hate due to stereotyped differences; usually I’ve found that the hatred is simply a reflection of what they fear and despise most in themselves.

    Which is usually where most hatred stems from in most issues surrounding marginalization of a group of humans.

    XX

  18. Perceived difference may be more accurate. But you are also right about the fear/hatred because of the similarities that they have trouble processing.

    Just shouldnt be this way…

  19. Amanda, hate,violence etc…all orignate fron fear,any of the lower vibration feelings and actions come from that,and ofcourse the higher vibrations of happiness love unity acceptance compassion etc..come from love. Love and Fear are the two avenues of everything that happens in this world.

  20. My world isn’t really any different than anyone else’s.We all lead different lives. I think that’s were we get in trouble, when we start to separate( this goes for world issues as well) Escorting is a partime thing that I’ve done lately to make extra money.

    The other part of my world consists of working partime time at Macy’s shoe department,going on acting and voice over auditions, writing a tiny column each month in a industry trade paper here in L.A , spending time hiking with friends ,having dinner parties,traveling and spending time with family,mom etc..so if you step back and look at the bigger picture how different is our world really? We could even talk college dorm days since I received my BFA from Arizona State over 15 years ago.

    There’s so much stereo typing with escorts,people just automatialy assume were all spending 24 /7 in dark seedy hotel rooms watching porn all day, nothing could be further from the truth,so today as I run around getting 20 errands done,and taking my cat to the vet with no makeup and my hair in a bun I’ll look like and be doing the same things half the planet is doing, Trust me me we have more in common than not

  21. Me — There are a LOT of issues that go into hating sex workers. I find the main one is exactly the one that causes all people to hate others: the similarities. Perceived more than what’s on the surface — someone who hates others has some issues and seeing those issues walking and talking blows a circuit in their head.

    We hate most in others what we fear in ourselves, what we hesitate to become, choices we’ve turned away from.

    Tamara — Exactly. The differences are grossly overstated. That we walk among them scares the haters no end.

    XX

  22. exactly Amanda,and thats exactly why as I’ve pointed out in the almost comical judgmensts of even escorts and dancers putting down other ones and having class titles.LMOA example women on at a “sugar daddy convention,aka looking for sugar daddies) lauhhing at and slandering a women who worked at one of the ranches saying that was disgusting and gross. I think the writer of the show did it for comedy reasons and anyone with a brain in their head could see the clear hypocrasy. Hypocrasy is just something that I will call anyone out on,and there’s so much of it. Thats why atmy ripe age I hrdly ever judge anymore!

    Another example of this is Brooke something or another from HBO’s cathouse judging women who don’t work in legal brothels calling them trash. Her righteousness and putting herself on a pedastal to other workers is HYTERICAL!!! especially since the world is judging her just as harshly too. It’s all a mirror sugar. You judge,and YOU’RE being judged by otherstoo! Change starts with YOU!

  23. Tamara — The hierarchy. Isn’t it lovely?

    I certainly ran into that view when I worked in the brothel, yet I saw the brothel girls as pimped and caged (by the brothel — not that they all had pimps).

    XX

  24. Laws against prostitution share the blame for these murders. Laws that make a voluntary association a crime force women into dangerous situations. The idea that the laws are based on morality is absurd. The sexual acts themselves are not a crime. The woman is only a criminal if she won’t do it for free.

  25. So sorry I entered the same comment three times. I was not familiar with posting on this site and pressed “submit” three times.

  26. John — Deleted 2 of them.

    Um yes, every sex worker activist directly blames the criminalization of prostitution for the murders of sex workers — there is no “sharing” the blame, the path of blame is extremely clear. Criminalization only empowers criminals.

    Not sure what you’re talking about with your last line. Any woman can make a decision at any time to have sex or not, paid or not. Her body, her business. It should not be a matter of laws, nor anyone’s business but hers.

  27. I completely agree. By my last line I was just trying to show the absurdity of anti-prostitution laws. “Moralists” try to portray the laws as way to enforce their vision of “sexual morality”. That, of course is not government’s business, either and I did not mean to imply that it was. But it is doubly absurd that the laws are justified on ground of “sexual morality”, but in fact outlaw only the commercial transaction.

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