22 thoughts on “reinventing the escort

  1. Looks like it’s trying to go after the sugardaddy/sugarbabes, but cut down on the time wasting and negotiations by making expectations more clear. With sugardaddy dates, the first date is usually NOT paid for, and so it’s frequent to go out with a potential sugardaddy only to feel like I’ve wasted my time! Looks like they’re trying to turn the tables a little more in the womens’ favor. I think it’s a great idea.
    Even if they didn’t have the “sugardaddy” and sexier options, with the huge ratio of men to women on dating sites, I can see how this could work in a very general mainstream way. The online equivalent to buying a chick a drink at a bar.
    I don’t think it’s redefining escorting, but maybe the grey areas in between of affairs, sugarbabes, and dating single guys for their money. Or, if they market even more mainstream, could redefine filtering through all the idiots that clog the inboxes of decently attractive chicks on Match.com

  2. Anoymous — I realize it’s an outgrowth of the whole sugardaddy/sugarbaby thing. But when a woman charges $X for X amount of time with her, then…um…not sure how else to put it — she’s an escort.

    I didn’t say this is “redefining” escorting, because it’s not. I said it is “reinventing” it, because it is.

    XX

  3. Yes it is funny how well people can change their acceptance of things simply by creating a new vocabulary or process. Not really much different than the military calling civillian casualties “collateral damage”. For myself, it is a form of self-deception and illusion which I think can be dangerous.

    I say dangerous because if someone who accepts or charges money or requires material gain for their time actually begins to believe they are fundamentally different/better/classier than an escort, they can avoid facing many of the personal, ethical, etc. questions and issues that an escort comes to terms with.

    You might be a sugarbaby, golddigger, kept man, creative rent payer, or some other term someone creates….you might even believe that you are an entertainer and that the gentleman with the funky clothing and tripped-out car who you give all your money to is your “Business Manager”…

    You are still part of the same big sex worker family.

  4. Well it exists for the same purpose as a lot of the dating sites to separate people from their money.

    I took a look and when you make offers you have to use credits which you buy from the site. The amount of credits you use is based on the size of the offer that is negotiated and agreed on, a novel way for the site to get it’s cut.

    The one thing I will say about the site that is different is that it doesn’t have a bunch of fake profiles. When viewing the pages without being logged in I wasn’t presented with a lot of “sample profiles” of beautiful women in my area that are waiting for me to message them.
    For my area there were two women, one didn’t have a photo and the one that did looked legitimate and didn’t show up in tineye’s image database.

    My first thought was that it could be useful for the woman who doesn’t want to make the full plunge into being a sex worker. The college girl who is looking to earn an extra $50-100 extra cash by being taken to dinner and being a charming companion, or going over to a lonely guys place to play video games. And that might work while the site is new.

    My second thought though is that eventually it’s going to be used by escorts and thus things will get muddied and that same college girl is going to end up on a date with some guy who expects an escort.

    I think it’s dangerous from the perspective that the people accepting the money are not thinking of themselves as escorts, then they are not taking those same precautions as escorts.

    Personally I’d like it if this kinda thing would work. There are days at work where I’d like to be able to just setup a lunch date with a charming lady. But I see this site getting muddied up quickly.

    Tom

  5. It seems to have stronger admonishments about being used by escorts than other Sugardaddy sites. It may be a liability issue but I bet it’s in response to the fact that escorts have already infiltrated the other 4 main SD sites.

    Thing is, I use SD sites and get up to 80% of my business from them. Trust me when I say the gents on those sites tend to be quite appreciative of a true escort’s candor when it comes to her “pay 4 play” compensation – they get tired of women who don’t know what they want or are vague and/or manipulative. The SDs, for the most part, find it “refreshing” and, in my experience, only about 10-20% seem put off by that approach (which is probably down from a year ago when I first started using them).

    Ultimately, anything that blurs the line between SD/SB relationships and escorting is great in my book. Make it harder and harder for the courts to distinguish what is “illegal” and what isn’t. Cost the courts enough money and time, and it only helps decriminalize our work someday.

  6. Joesph — Exactly. Thank you for explaining this so well.

    Tom — Ha! You always inject humour into your comments.

    The real problem is that the college girl who THINKS a guy is paying her to be a “companion” is going to discover that the guys want to get some after shelling out the money for a “date.” (Though these guys will never, ever think of themselves as “paying for it.”) Genuine clients would treat these girls with much more respect (and money) if the girls were just honest about what they’re doing. Denial and confusion are never good things.

    Cici — Thanks for your insight. You have a much clearer head than most of the ladies on the SD sites, I’m very sure. I’ve read SD blogs and the things they tell SBs to do reads like my first two books, written by men! Makes me laugh, and want to bitch-slap a lot of people at the same time.

    And this site, well, it’s escorting. No other way to put it. It might brush past legalities at the moment, but the interaction between the two parties is client/provider.

    Though any good lawyer can defend any escort who always sells her time as selling time is never illegal.

    XX

  7. Well, it does read like a sugar daddy thing (as everyone has pointed out) and it also reminds me of what dancers do with guys that they are comfortable with, which is join them on dinner and drinking dates (or theater or music) where their time is compensated with cash. There might be hope for sex, but usually from what I know it is more about upfront conversation that it is sexy, friendly company and the guy comps you for a night where you would have worked. I’ve done this (rarely) and have talked with other work friends who have too and it is rare for them as well. NEVER at the guy’s house/apartment (unless it turns into an “arrangement” deal where trust is built up and usually the guy is married and looking for a mistress in those scenerios…or was married and just wants a lover.)

    Ideally, there is a pre-determined number based on what you “would have made working.”
    Again, only with guys the girl trusts and sometimes a “double-date” deal where she brings a friend along for drinks.

    The difference here (website) is that you don’t meet the person in advance and have no idea of what their expectations or manners are, so I understand connecting it with escorting, which also seems to operate that way, via ads. BTW, the ads for the site are hilarious! One woman is holding a $20 sign while another holds a $150 sign? And what determines the prices? The size of their breasts? Cracks me up. 🙂

  8. Parker — But paying for someone’s time IS escort work.

    Everyone is all confused about the sex thing so I’ll say it again: escort work is paying for time, prostitution is paying for sex. Sex may be involved with escort work, but certainly not always (street workers will also say not all their clients pay for sex but for someone to listen). There’s really a lot of overlap and changing situations with all of it, which is why “sex work” is really a huge umbrella term and it most certainly includes dinner dates like you and your stripper friends provide.

    For a one-time date: paying for time is escort work. An arrangement is a different thing since it’s an ongoing relationship. I just don’t see the chances that a guy paying a girl $50 for a dinner date is really going to spring for an ongoing arrangement, but I could be wrong. I do see him strongly pushing for sex because he’s spent money on her. (I wrote about this concept here: http://www.texasgoldengirl.com/afterhours/whore-and-slut-misused/)

    If the girls on the site really sat down and thought about their rates, they would suddenly be pricing themselves just like the escorts in their area!!!

    XX

  9. Yeah, $50 is cheap and I don’t see an arrangment coming out of that either.

    I reckon what have right now constitutes that as I don’t see anyone else, and I definitely get the impression he doesn’t want me getting anything sexual going with anyone else unless it is dating a potential “keeper.” Other friends of mine who have had them did manage to sneak in other guys as hook ups on the side of their sugar daddy/arrangement. One girl was planning on marrying hers when he died suddenly and she soon discovered that he had been terminally ill the whole time they’d been together. It devastated her because she loved him and he’d kinda “rescued” her(so I guess it does happen) from dancing and supported her and her daughter.

    I’ve really heard a lot of touching stories around the globe which include the Dominant submissive world where a guy financially takes care of a sub while she takes care of his needs (sexual, D/s and emotional…and house chores).

    I know this is slightly off-topic now that you’ve clarified but I love talking about this stuff–so facinating. I wish I could get a published co-author for my academic journal idea….

    Anyway, back to paid companion: that would cover dancers and often and ideally you find a guy who pays for your company and you talk, inside the club. That is an ideal. We don’t call it escorting. We call it entertainment. I can see it fitting that outside the club though and have myself called it non-sexual escorting (given that many people think escorting is only sexual). One friend said “you’re kinda like a Geisha huh?”

  10. Parker — I need to get back to you on the personal thing and academic journal idea!!!

    Unlike the other SD sites, I don’t see this one as promoting arrangements so much as plain old escort work (hence, my original post). Getting paid inside the club for providing entertainment isn’t escort work, no. It’s still stripping, the ideal stripping situation (IMO). Taking it outside the club and getting paid for time is escort work. It’s no longer about stripping nor is it strictly sex — it’s about being a paid companion, which is what an escort does.

    I think “escort” has become synonymous with “prostitute” when the concepts really are separate.

    XX

  11. I think I’ve mentioned this before on your blog. The hypocracy of some women have about escorts.

    I actually saw a thing on t.v were there were a bunch of in denial catty women. They were in Las Vegas at a sugar daddy convention to meet millionaires and there was one bitter vile feline with horrible energy to that was verbally ripping apart a women who was in the same room and she shared with them she worked at one of the brothels and wwwwhen she turned away they all ripped her to shreds calling her a whore. It was actually quit ammusing the extreme of hypocracy.

    I think some women would rather die than admit some of their actions could be considered a form of prostitution as well.

    I heard a comment by a doctor and marriage counselor named Pat Allen once that stuck with me and is so true.

    “The only differance between prostitution and marriage is a blessing. It’s the same dam job!” LOL

    I also once had a friend who’s pharmacist and at the time was working as a bartender. A well known NBA basketball player came in and offered to fly her down to Chicago for the night the following week when they were scheduled to play the Bulls,he did and he came to the room that day before his game started gave her $400 to go shopping ,spent the night with her and she left the next day,because she sometimes had such a moral bug up her ass. I didn’t let up until she admitted that was a act of prostitution. I wouldn’t have done that nor was i judging I just wanted her to take the lump of coal out her ass.

  12. Yeah – so I think at worst, SD dating is men in denial about buying and women in denial about selling sex; at best, it’s something that allows for the boundary between commercial and relational sex to be blurry, possibly in a good way.

    I think, also, that a lot of guys on these websites go on thinking of benefits in terms of expensive dinners and not dollars, which leads to a lot of manipulation, fruitless email communication, and general confusion overall.

    And my guess is that this website is to still facilitate longer-term arrangements, but with the premise of the arrangement spelled out at the start.

  13. Tamara — Sorry for your comment sat in queue for so long. It’s a good one and I laughed the whole way through!

    Though any woman who accepts $400 for spending the night with an NBA player SHOULD be ashamed for being such a cheap, cheap floozy.

    Meg — The problem with dinners/drinks/shows in lieu of cash is that I haven’t managed to convince my landlord to accept these things for my rent. Men who can’t get that concept shouldn’t be trying to play the game. It really irritates me.

    XX

  14. “The problem with dinners/drinks/shows in lieu of cash is that I haven’t managed to convince my landlord to accept these things for my rent. Men who can’t get that concept shouldn’t be trying to play the game. It really irritates me.”

    Love it.

  15. When I first heard about this site I was bit puzzled myself. I am not sure who would use it other then escorts or people looking for escorts.

  16. I took it for a test drive a few months ago. I can tell you who would use it.

    Cheap bastards who don’t have the cojones to actually call an escort. One guy offered me $20. Another offered $50.

    I’ve done “true” escort work (yes, the quotes are there for a reason) and the going rate in this area is about $200 an hour, and that’s at the low end.

    I laughed at both of them and refused the offers. Honestly – if you’re going to be open to pay for play, then pay something worthwhile!

  17. Lailah — Ha! Just what I suspected. Thanks for taking one for the team — at least as far as wasting your time goes. Love your honesty.

    XX

  18. A stripper I work with is one of the thumbnails on the front page of this site. I love having secrets! She makes a LOT of money stripping. I wonder what her price is? I don’t want to have to sign up to find out.

  19. Anna — Wow! That’s too funny. Hope she’s charging as much as she should. Hopefully she’s on other sugardaddy sites where she can probably charge more.

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