So, a bunch of over-privileged dudes rips off a sex worker for $50 and complains that she stole a bunch of stuff. Reminds of some other guys who were haggling over price.

Seriously, how hard is it to just pay her? Paying people money for the work they did makes them happy. Doesn’t matter if the agreed rate is $50 or $500, just pay as agreed and everyone gets to quietly go back to their lives. A really simple concept.

If, for some reason, you don’t have the money in the first place, then don’t play until you do. (Kind of like a casino.)

This is a local story and caught my attention. That they were stupid enough to leave her in their house after they ripped her off makes me laugh. I hope she put them all on National Blacklist. Will look great when potential employers Google their names. Someone who is willing to steal a mere $50 from another person who provided exactly what was requested shouldn’t be trusted with more than a mop and mop bucket.

This also illustrates why so many girls have a “30 and over” rule and why it’s traditional to collect the money first.

28 thoughts on “just pay her

  1. “The money thing” as in the money up front. I have been so lucky, I try to be very careful who I invite into my private home and I insist upon impeccible manners as well. I have not had to ask for up front proof and have had some very pleasant surprises since I provide intimacy on all levels and am offered generosity in return. Of course, some are good about making that eye contact and subtling let me know its there for me before we begin but lately its been a bit like Christmas as far as generous tips and affection offered. It’s these rare times that make it bearable for me to tell my steady client of two years “No” when he called last night to come over late notice and then had the nerve to ask me if he could leave me a partial payment since he lacked his ATM card and I felt very unappreciated. What can I say, men are men.

  2. I was recently giving a short on my fee my minimum one hour appointment wasn’t paid in full. I always count my fee at the start of the session. when I confronted the wanker, I can’t even call him a client because clients pay in full and don’t question the fee and clients who are good clients tip as well.

    so this wanker who gave me my short fee clearly had this look on his face he has tried this stunt before he was over 30. IF they went to a restaurant and got the bill they wouldn’t pay the bill they would pull out their credit cards pay the bill and add in the tip for the server and then try and write off the meal as a business expenses, but for some reason when they see sex workers they try and pull a fast one.

    It’s just plain disrespectful just pay in full even that secret service agent didn’t pay in full and tried to get more for less.

  3. In some cases, I do wonder whether or not people who stiff sex workers on their fees do this in other cases. But in this instance, I wouldn’t be surprised if these guys also dine-and-dash at restaurants or ride-and-dash on taxis or short waitstaff on tips. That they were surprised that someone they purposefully screwed over decided to get even tells me that they’ve done this before without any consequence.

    And this line from the story: A memo to the three players: Next time you’re celebrating something, just treat yourself to a steak dinner. entirely misses the point. I’m sure they though they would just treat themselves to some free sex as well. Because their mentality is that of entitlement.

  4. Claus — It’s a simple concept because that’s HOW WE LIVE. In this (and almost all societies), you pay when someone charges you money for something you want.

    Massuse — You are lucky! Sounds like you have great instincts too.

    Shelly Ann Black — Yup!! And you’re right, he’s a wanker and not a client. Clients are well-liked by sex workers.

    Aspasia — I’m with you on this, particularly the stiffing waiters thing. I’m sure these boys aren’t allowed to be regulars at any establishment.

    And you’re right about their attitude. It screams “potential rapist” as well. Though some sex workers strongly feel that sex work without payment is rape anyway, since the lack of money cancels the prior consent (as sexual consent was obtained via the money to be paid).

  5. You have a right to be so angry. I would not like to be cheated out of being paid for what I do either. My provider told me she was shorted once for services provided, so she went back and told him, and he was so embarrassed he paid more than what was agreed to. She was so proud of sticking up for herself it was great. No where near these guys though.They got what they deserved. I had no idea this was why there is an age preference. More evidence for the need for decriminilization.

  6. Michael — No one wants to be cheated out of their livelihood. Some girls are very good at shaming guys into paying them what they should but most don’t due to realistic fears of physical confrontations. Of course, guys know this.

    Any escort’s age preference is based on assumption of his maturity level, as well as his understanding of the relationship. Guys under 30 in this country have a difficult time with the concept of “paying for it” without being insulted, plus they tend to be stupid. Guys begin the process of turning into men after 30 (though not all manage it).

    I wasn’t going to harp on the decrim thing this time, figured it was self-evident! 😉

  7. Imagine if you tired this with your mechanic. He or she could put a lein on your vehicle and just keep it until you paid. Hmmm, maybe there is a similar solution here. Painful, but effective.

  8. David — Ha!! Not sure what the solution would be with unmarried men. In this case, are you hinting she should’ve held their electronics hostage?

    Michael — Not that I’m calling you Mr. Obvious — you’ve just been a reader for a while! I’m having an effect!

  9. Some clients don’t have respect. They need to understand that escorts are like any other women that they meet in a bar or wherever except for the fact that they are paid for companionship.

  10. David — I think a lot of women would go with your suggestion, sex workers or not!

    Ayesha — Indeed. Women are women and are human beings no matter what the situation.

  11. Haggling an escort’s price is very unprofessional. Women, particularly escorts, talk about their experiences on particular client. It can give a bad reputation for you.

  12. The more I think about this issue, the more I start to think, “civil rights” and that’s the problem. As long as the U.S. does not see sex workers as legitimate people and not as illegal this will always be a problem. I try my best to represent myself as legitimate. I pay taxes and I try to select the safest clientelle and I take a great deal of pride in my service. I so my best to make my clients feel better about themselves when they leave then they may have when they arrived. I try to post positive, inspiring and motivating messages on my internet sex workers and clientelle website that I belong to and try to be a good example of a human being and contributor to society. As long as there is the threat to us of arrest and persecution, there will always be those among us who view us as easy targets to control and intimidate. ( ie haggle and rip off)

    I always told my child growing up that as a single mother I was grateful for the civil rights movement because even thought I am white, civil rights meant the end of women not being controlled by the threat of not being able to keep and raise a child out of wedlock. Civil rights were so much more than the end of segregation. Today, my college bound honor student teenager is out with the rest of his honor student friends protesting the hateful remarks made by the Chickfillet CEO. My teen told me, “We all know in 20 years when we look back on this how silly it all looks and how much it resembles the idiocracy of segregation in the 1960’s”. P.S. During the Chickfillet fiasco I wanted so bad to go out there with a sign saying, “Your evangelical christian husband saw me for a sensual massage!” ha ha ha that would have been great!

  13. Massuse — Love your idea of a protest sign!!

    Everything you’ve said is right on. Your first paragraph sums it up nicely. I hope you reprint that to your blog (maybe edited a bit if you don’t want Google connecting your comments here). There is a lot more to the stigma of sex work than just civil rights, but the core of it IS civil rights in every sense of the phrase.

    Most sex workers are decent people making a living and many are certainly more decent than the average hypocrite. Truth-tellers usually aren’t well-liked and sex workers can be seen as that. Sex work is highly feminized (even for male sex workers) and puritannical America has huge problems with feminine sexuality. And a whole lot of other issues!

    I would say to keep your head high, but you already are. Your comment really made my morning.

  14. I’ve found the best answer to this is money up front. Put it in the most secure place possible and resolve disputes that arise later with Pepper Spray first and discussion about the problem afterward. Pepper spray and/or WD40 first seem to make ripoff clients more amenable to understanding my point of view.

  15. I was recently shorted $242 of my $250 hourly rate when I was on a “tour” in Pittsburgh, PA, USA. Unfortunately I try to be tactful and classy and I don’t open the envelope or count the money unless I have an opportunity to do it discreetly. With this client I didn’t, he thankfully didn’t stay his full time, and I did blacklist him and put alerts out but it’s still disgusting and despicable. He was over 30, and looked like a business man. Unfortunately when I first got into this business I was also robbed after a full day of working a guy paid for his session, then robbed me afterwards of all the money in my wallet and the safe in the hotel (over a thousand dollars). It’s disgusting being in the US- because if we’re not in a brothel we have no rights. There’s only brothels in Nevada, so the other 49 states workers are SOL. What can my one voice do besides go to Nevada?

    It sucks, I don’t want to have to work at a brothel to avoid the police and being ripped off, but I don’t see a better way to be legal and stay in the biz without trying to move out of the country. That’s just not something I’m able to do right now unfortunately.

    Great entry, I love your books and am anxiously awaiting volume 3!!

  16. Private escorts — It is a simple concept. Unfortunately, there are a lot of rule-breakers in the US.

    Jill — Money up front is KEY.

    Not everyone is willing or able to resolve disputes like you do, though (take no prisoners!). I know I’m not.

    My solution is to leave the money lying out in the open because if things get ugly, they can take the money and leave without harming me. I see the money as a distracting element for someone spiraling out of control, giving me time to get safe by leaving or getting them out and locking the door behind them. Not that I’ve had to put this into practice, fortunately. Different strategies for different people.

  17. Nikki — I’ve been shorted before, especially when touring the US. It sucks. Really sorry to hear about you being robbed of a full day’s work! That’s very bad and I’m sure the choice you made was: money vs bodily harm. Other options include loading your day’s take onto a prepaid card or into your bank account, or hiding the cash in an unlikely place, leaving only a small stash in the safe (say, the amount of 1 appointment). I wouldn’t trust a hotel’s front desk safe because they will probably notice if you’re loading cash into it all the time.

    The US is no friend to sex workers. Nevada brothels aren’t a great option either, regardless of their presumed safety features (the only thing you’re truly safe from is being arrested, though being registered as a prostitute makes you LESS safe in NV if you’re pulled over by police because that WILL come up when they run your license).

    There is no way to be fully “legal” in the US as an escort, but you certainly can minimize risk. Requiring deposits (even token amounts) cuts through a lot of crap, age restrictions, restricting working hours, networking with other escorts (sharing clients makes things safer), and raising your rates slightly above the local norms (if you can) all help to keep you safER but there is nothing to currently keep you 100% safe. It galls me to have to say that but you know as well as I do that it’s the truth.

    Thank you for being a reader! 🙂

  18. I consider pepper spraying and beating the hell out of a thief to be an act of social conscience. Everyone needs to learn respect for others. Someone requiring being pepper sprayed clearly didn’t learn this lesson childhood and getting a trip to the ER is part of their growth as a human being.

  19. Dear Ms. Brooks:
    I am sure in your upcoming books this is a chapter that you will chronicle thoroughly. Although with respect to weapons, you did discuss the use of mace but I am wondering would you also carry a knife as well or do you know those that do on the tier of providers that you work with? Also I am wondering so that you do not get in this situation in the future what different techniques do you and your colleagues use to verify clients? This would be a critical phase and chapter of your book because if this is done correctly it could weed out a lot of people that you wouldn’t want to see. Also what would be a system that most workers would use so that they would have someone that they trust know where they are just in case they do get in to trouble?

  20. Lionel — I, like most safety experts, discourage the use of actual weapons unless the person is very well-trained in them. There is too much risk of the weapon being turned against the victim. Yes, there are some girls who carry guns and knives. I’m not one of them and I strongly discourage anyone from carrying obvious weapons without extensive training. Many girls have taken self-defense classes, which is a much better (and hidden) weapon. The best weapons are always a) avoiding the situation in the first place or b) having the ability to think clearly and talk your way out of the situation.

    I think I’ve mentioned before that screening is to be covered in Book 3. You’ve asked a number of questions along these lines. Suffice to say, you’ve sent up red flags a long time ago.

  21. Amanda- I have Books 1&2, and your advice is priceless!
    Please, please let me know the minute Book 3 comes out! So I can purchase from you!
    I know most screening is common sense, but still- us noobs are going into the biz worried. How effective will our Common Sense be against the wankers and thieves?

  22. Tara — Thank you!

    Book 3 will be out when it’s out. Believe me, I won’t be shy about announcing it! 🙂

    Common sense is very effective against wankers and thieves. Before you even see the guy, if something about him sends up a red flag, then trust your instinct and call if off. Always better safe than very, very sorry.

    When you’re with the guy, get the money first. Again, if a red flag goes off, either leave quickly or get him out of there as fast as possible.

    Common sense and your instincts aren’t the same thing but they’re next door neighbors.

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