numbers (or notches)

11 Responses to “numbers (or notches)”

1. Amber on January 10th, 2008

   Heh. I wonder about people’s numbers too, and I do want details. Hooray for prurient interests!

   I don’t think money negates anything sex workers may have learned. Who said that? Whoever they are, I’d like to flick their ear, because that statement is ridiculous.

   Like any other field, I don’t think one variable (in this case, number of sex partners) is what makes or breaks someone earning the title of Expert – but it’s definitely a contributing factor among many others.

   My number is 14. If I were competitive about these things I’d say I feel so virginal compared to certain “experts.” But I’m not, and I sure as hell don’t.

2. Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » links for 2008-01-10 on January 10th, 2008

   [...] numbers (or notches) – After Hours| random discourse from a retired escort Another post pondering the definition of “expert.” (tags: expertise sex sexwork) [...]

3. Amanda Brooks on January 11th, 2008

   Amber,

   Well, I’m just guessing about the money angle. It seems that most people don’t count sex work as work (either because of the money or the sex, not sure which), and they certainly don’t see it as a relationship because of the money. So I’m guessing that money means sex workers don’t learn anything either (because the money stops new synapse connections from forming, at least in women). Otherwise we’d have a whole slew of sex worker advice columnists.

   No, numbers don’t confer “expert” because there’s a whole lot going into the equation. However, I’ve certainly read some sex columnists where I seriously wonder the last time they had sex. Just seems incorrect.

   And a big big thanks for sharing your number! If it was good for you then it was good for me

   I remember watching a movie about AIDS in high school (the virgin years) and the victim confessed to having 5 partners and called herself “nearly a virgin.” At the time, I thought “what a slut!” but now I sort of feel she was correct. Perspective certainly changes.

   I’ve always liked experience though. The guys I’ve been attracted to most are guys who seem to have been around the world and then some. I tend to not like pure driven snow. That explains some of my bias.

   XX

4. Amy Morgan on May 9th, 2008

   Well there is a difference between having 11 experiences and having one experience 11 times.

   I have wished to respond to this topic for awhile but well, I often procrastinate.

   This is a bothersome topic because I’ve had ALOT of sexual partners. Even before I became part of this “sphere” I had been with over (easily) 100 men. It sounds so very slutty, though, to state such.

   And it honestly isn’t. Dates and complete silliness is probably most of the cause for my “man count”. Also, well there are a few other reasons.

   I don’t keep a count or notches on my bed post (I used to but quit when the bed post got a little weak) but I would guess that I’ve easily been with over 800 men. God, the number sounds horrid but I’m guessing it’s a low number.

   I wouldn’t be surprised if met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates that the count was much higher. And although I’m embarrassed, I sincerely believe that Jesus would be fine with it.

   Not quite sure what to state at this point except to say that this was a very good topic and I hope that I contributed to it somewhat!

   Warmly,
   Amy

5. Amanda Brooks on May 9th, 2008

   Amy,

   Wow. Impressed by your number, actually.

   I’m very glad you shared. I like that.

   XX
   Amanda

6. TexRich on November 9th, 2008

   to be honest, I have never counted the number of women I have had sex with professionally speaking. my estimate would be under 50, but close to it. i am 37, and i started when i was 23 years old. personally speaking, probably 25-30, and 7 were close relationships.

7. Amanda Brooks on November 10th, 2008

   Rich,

   Thanks for sharing! Always appreciated. And I like seeing the other side of it too.

   XX

8. Lee on January 1st, 2009

   I think that, if anything, sex workers (and some of their clients) are more qualified as sex experts than others – who can match their quantity and variety of experience and their objectivity? As you said, experience itself can’t make you an expert, but how can you claim expertise without it?

   I agree completely with your impression of too many sex columnists, advise writers or other so-called experts. I think far too many of them (especially the book writers) follow a very staid, uniform format, and too many see and write about sex only as part of a long-term, monogamous relationship.

   Experience in a sex partner is definitely a plus!

   My “number” is more than Jenna Jameson, but less than Amy Morgan.

9. Robert on January 1st, 2009

   Wow! I feel like suck a newbie compared to you all, my number is 5! I feel so cheated.

10. Amanda Brooks on January 2nd, 2009

    Lee,

    Yes, a lot of “experts” in every field are not as expert as one might think (I say this carefully since I’m positioning myself as a knowledgable person in a narrow niche). Kind of makes me think of looking for a doctor to do Lasik — you want one that has done thousands or one does a couple operations per week? I know which one I’d consider the “expert.”

    Thanks for sharing your number! (in a way)

    Robert,

    Newbie maybe, but then, the whole matter of quality comes into play. I’m betting those 5 weren’t a ships-passing-in-the-night sort of thing. And hey, if you’re happy with your number, then so be it! Doesn’t matter what we think!

    XX

11. Robert on January 4th, 2009

    I don’t know if I would associate the word happy with the number, but it really does not matter one way or the other, it is what it is.