numbers (or notches)
I read Jenna Jameson’s book quite a while back and she claims to have had sex with less than 100 men (80-something, if I remember correctly). I look at the blogs/sites/columns of sex advisors and wonder what their numbers are (actually, I’ve wondered about people’s number all of my life — it’s my one area of prurient interest, though I never want details).
Comparing my estimated number to theirs leads me to think I should be a so-called expert. And there are sex workers whose numbers are much higher than mine. Hmm…who should really be considered experts? Or does the whole “money” thing negate anything sex workers might’ve learned?
FYI: Professionally-speaking, it’s more than 100, but less than 1000. I’m not going to be more specific than that in public. Besides, it’s an estimate. I haven’t really sat down and used a calculator.
Personally-speaking, it’s in the 40s. I think.
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Heh. I wonder about people’s numbers too, and I do want details. Hooray for prurient interests!
I don’t think money negates anything sex workers may have learned. Who said that? Whoever they are, I’d like to flick their ear, because that statement is ridiculous.
Like any other field, I don’t think one variable (in this case, number of sex partners) is what makes or breaks someone earning the title of Expert - but it’s definitely a contributing factor among many others.
My number is 14. If I were competitive about these things I’d say I feel so virginal compared to certain “experts.” But I’m not, and I sure as hell don’t.
[…] numbers (or notches) - After Hours| random discourse from a retired escort Another post pondering the definition of “expert.” (tags: expertise sex sexwork) […]
Amber,
Well, I’m just guessing about the money angle. It seems that most people don’t count sex work as work (either because of the money or the sex, not sure which), and they certainly don’t see it as a relationship because of the money. So I’m guessing that money means sex workers don’t learn anything either (because the money stops new synapse connections from forming, at least in women). Otherwise we’d have a whole slew of sex worker advice columnists.
No, numbers don’t confer “expert” because there’s a whole lot going into the equation. However, I’ve certainly read some sex columnists where I seriously wonder the last time they had sex. Just seems incorrect.
And a big big thanks for sharing your number! If it was good for you then it was good for me
I remember watching a movie about AIDS in high school (the virgin years) and the victim confessed to having 5 partners and called herself “nearly a virgin.” At the time, I thought “what a slut!” but now I sort of feel she was correct. Perspective certainly changes.
I’ve always liked experience though. The guys I’ve been attracted to most are guys who seem to have been around the world and then some. I tend to not like pure driven snow. That explains some of my bias.
XX
Well there is a difference between having 11 experiences and having one experience 11 times.
I have wished to respond to this topic for awhile but well, I often procrastinate.
This is a bothersome topic because I’ve had ALOT of sexual partners. Even before I became part of this “sphere” I had been with over (easily) 100 men. It sounds so very slutty, though, to state such.
And it honestly isn’t. Dates and complete silliness is probably most of the cause for my “man count”. Also, well there are a few other reasons.
I don’t keep a count or notches on my bed post (I used to but quit when the bed post got a little weak) but I would guess that I’ve easily been with over 800 men. God, the number sounds horrid but I’m guessing it’s a low number.
I wouldn’t be surprised if met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates that the count was much higher. And although I’m embarrassed, I sincerely believe that Jesus would be fine with it.
Not quite sure what to state at this point except to say that this was a very good topic and I hope that I contributed to it somewhat!
Warmly,
Amy
Amy,
Wow. Impressed by your number, actually.
I’m very glad you shared. I like that.
XX
Amanda