Jun 10, 2013 Adult Industry
I had three people send me different links to the same horrible story (Gawker, MSN, and ThinkProgress). I was relieved that the vast majority of the comments show the general population to have some sense. They’re appalled that Lenora Ivie Frago’s life was worth a mere $150. Not to mention a lot of people pointed out he was insisting she perform an illegal act (i.e. sex for money), a crime he apparently was never charged with. Even better were those who understood her right to autonomy and the right to say “no” if she felt like it, that she was a human being and not a piece of property, especially not his piece of property. I can’t imagine the pain her family feels.
It’s a very sad commentary on Texas. It’s no secret to anyone who lives here what a gun-nutty, sexist state it is but…wow. This is a new low, even for our court history of allowing crimes against women to go underpunished.
For those men who want to start whinging about possibly being ripped off $150, stop. If you were planning on giving her the money anyway, then it’s already gone. Your precious penis and your presumed constitutional right to get off is not worth a human life. It really, truly is not. You’re not that special. Consider your lost money a lesson learned, and try to find someone else you think you might be more be in tune with your desires. (Escorts get ripped off all the time and they learn to tighten up their business practices. They dust themselves off and try again. This is the correct, mature, response.)
After all, Ezekiel Gilbert clearly had the money to spend tens of thousands on his defense. So why was he so upset over losing $150 he was going to spend anyway? He whines about how hard his life has been over the past four years and how he has nightmares. He could have avoided all that drama by not shooting and killing Lenora. How easy and simple to avoid all these problems! Put the damn gun down, get back to Google and find a new escort. There’s not a single escort in the country who costs more than a criminal defense attorney in a murder case.
He got away with murder because he truly got a jury of his peers. I wish every one of their names could be discovered and put on national blacklists. They set him free and therefore they believe it’s right and proper to kill sex workers who don’t do exactly as demanded. This is a horrific precedent, especially for sex workers who see clients in the evening.
Looked at it from another angle, the jury sort of sees prostitution as a legal business transaction. If that’s the case, then anytime a client beats, rapes, or rips off a prostitute at night, she should lethally shoot him (quite a few sex workers carry guns). If this case is going to be a precedent, then let it be a true precedent.
Realistically, the status quo doesn’t change. Escorts who blatantly state what they will and won’t do for money are setting themselves up for arrest. Or they can be coy, avoid arrest, and set themselves up for disappointed clients who decide to kill them. Either way, their lives are ruined. Their clients’ lives are not.
PS: I hope Gilbert changes whatever career he currently has and takes a service-industry job in Texas, preferably on the night shift. He just doesn’t strike me as someone who can get an order right, such as whether or not I want fries with that and please hold the mayo. At the very least, I hope he never gets to hire another escort again. These articles are even better than a blacklist.
Dec 22, 2012 Adult Industry
The Suzy Hamilton scandal begs tons of comment, mostly about the civilians who can’t wait to wag their tongues on something they know nothing about. If I’ve read the articles and comments correctly, it appears Suzy is insane and not only invented the concept of prostitution, she is the first prostitute in America, the first escort who is a mother and wife, the first American female athlete to be involved in scandal and certainly the first Olympic athlete to make money by using her body…oh wait, nevermind all that.
One thing that did cross my mind was the matter of her reviews. I’m tossing out an idea in the hopes that someone will run with it. Over the years, I’ve been contacted by people wanting to start review/discussion boards or advertising malls. I’ve never been completely enthused with any proposed idea because it’s all been done before. Please, for once, steal this!! (Instead of just posting somewhat-altered excerpts of my books on your site for content.)
This is a very simple concept that requires very little start-up capital, relatively little in the way of operating expenses and will turn a profit because the concept will be embraced. Instead of reviews — which get reprinted in a scandal or used as evidence for arrest — an escort gets verified as legitimate. All that means is the “verifier” (not “reviewer”) checks a few Yes or No questions. The questions would revolve around the concept of paying for time, not sex. Selling time is perfectly legal. Selling sex is not. The only thing being verified is that the escort sold her time as promised. Verification without incrimination.
The concept would attract almost all escorts. Everyone wants to be seen as legit. The problem with reviews is that it cuts out a lot of escorts who are averse to having intimate moments splashed all over the public domain. It’s a very sane concern. Being verified as legitimate without public embarrassment is an idea whose time has come. I haven’t seen anything like this yet, but would certainly like to.
There isn’t any real point to review sites, other than providing circle-jerk fodder for the hobbyists who live and die by what another man says. A lot of escorts don’t enjoy being part of that, even if they allow reviews. They go along with reviews because it supposedly legitimizes their business, while giving up a lot of autonomy to the individual reviewers and the review site itself. The solution is obvious: a site that legitimizes their business without degradation or incrimination. Of course, such a site would get a ton of backlash from hardcore hobbyists because it removes a lot of their power. I imagine a lot of escorts would like the site for that very reason.
But I can also see the site attracting clients who aren’t hobbyists and aren’t enchanted by the review culture either. If they can discreetly verify an escort without having to write a porn-script about their time together, I think they would. Good clients have nothing against helping out the business of an escort they like, they just don’t want to leave an incriminating, embarrassing trail of their own. It’s a very sane concern. There are a lot of those men out there. I know, I’ve met them. So have other escorts.
Dec 16, 2012 Adult Industry
Tomorrow is December 17: the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. You can find the 2012 list of names here, and events here (there are less events than some years).
I don’t think anything is going on in Dallas this year, so as usual, I’ll be doing my own thing.
A friend of mine was brutally assaulted by this man. She found out he had done the same to others — after the fact. Naturally, she put him on the National Blacklist and other bad client lists because at the time he wasn’t on any that she used. Yet he keeps on raping and/or beating escorts. He does not hide who he is — it seems that girls aren’t doing their screening. His violence is escalating and at some point he will kill an escort, either deliberately or accidentally.
Avoiding violence is better than trying to pick up the pieces afterward. For your own sake: SCREEN. Use Google if nothing else. If you have a friend who doesn’t bother to screen, volunteer to Google her client info or be her safety call. No, this isn’t going to suddenly stop all predators but it could very well reduce your chances of being hurt. The life you save may be your own.
Survive this work.
Not every sex worker is going to retire with a huge nest egg or some other safety net. Neither do you have to exit this work harmed beyond recovery. Take care of yourself. It’s very obvious in this society that no one else will.
I’ve finally gotten all my stuff out of storage. The greatest joy has been unpacking my books. Legal Tender was bought in Vegas a few months before I set off traveling. It sat in my “read” pile until it was boxed up. Now that I’m working through my unread books, here it is.
First, my disclaimer. I’m personally prejudiced against the whole idea of brothels as practiced in the US. Giving 50% of my money from every booking to someone just for the privilege of renting a one-star hotel room doesn’t sit well with me. Being told what to do doesn’t work for me either (ask any former boyfriend about that). I’m a control-freak about my working environment and brothels go out of their way to wrest control from the girls working there. Then there’s the whole being-an-employee-without-the-legal-benefits, i.e. Nevada brothel-style “independent-contractor” status that’s accorded to the working girls. If I’m going to work within a heavily-regulated legal system then I want my legal benefits retained. The book looks at a lockdown brothel, so that’s what I’m going to be discussing here.
Rebuttal to my disclaimer is that I personally know several girls who have worked as indies and in Nevada brothels who thoroughly enjoyed their brothel experiences (though most still dislike the flouting of legal employee status and most were in non-lockdown brothels). They were happy with the money they made, happy with their working environments, happy with the brothel customers and overall have a positive impression of working within the strict bounds of their chosen brothels. I do not know any who worked in the brothel I did and had a positive experience. There is that.
I picked up my copy of Legal Tender when I attended a presentation given by the author Laraine Russo Harper. I said nothing, clapped at the end and purchased my book. I disagreed with a lot of what she said but I hadn’t read her book yet. So now I have.
Tags: criminalization, free range chicken, independent escorts, internet escorts, Laraine Russo Harper, las vegas, legalizing prostitution, lockdown brothel, nevada brothel, pimps, privacy, sheri's ranch
Jul 28, 2012 Adult Industry
Seriously, how hard is it to just pay her? Paying people money for the work they did makes them happy. Doesn’t matter if the agreed rate is $50 or $500, just pay as agreed and everyone gets to quietly go back to their lives. A really simple concept.
If, for some reason, you don’t have the money in the first place, then don’t play until you do. (Kind of like a casino.)
This is a local story and caught my attention. That they were stupid enough to leave her in their house after they ripped her off makes me laugh. I hope she put them all on National Blacklist. Will look great when potential employers Google their names. Someone who is willing to steal a mere $50 from another person who provided exactly what was requested shouldn’t be trusted with more than a mop and mop bucket.
This also illustrates why so many girls have a “30 and over” rule and why it’s traditional to collect the money first.